Working, Paying Bills, Finding A Man; This Thing Called Adulting Is Hard

Hi, lovely people!! Happy new week, hope you are all doing great.

So looking back to when I was young at about 15-16 years, I always liked the idea of dressing up with something of my mom’s (lipstick, shoe, dress, earrings,) just to feel like an adult. But of course my mom never liked it when I used her stuff, so sometimes I wait till she is not around or I sneak it into my bag and use it when I get outside (so who else used to do that? Lol).

There was this one time that I remember very vividly, I wore one of her mules, she found out and insults did fall on me. And at that moment, I wished I was old enough just so I can have my own stuff, live on my own and be my own adult.

But fast forward to today that I am an adult, have my own stuff and living on my own, I have realized that this adult life is not as exciting as I thought it would be. It is so damn hard!!

The Responsibilities

I so wish we could just adult and have someone else take care of our responsibilities, but it seems you cannot adult without it. The moment I started living on my own and paying rents, bills and taking care of myself, I started appreciating my mom much more than I used to. May our parents be blessed for all the times we just go to them and ask for school fees, and chop money and we didn’t care if they had it or not.

When I rented my first apartment back in 2012 right after tertiary school, (which was paid by my mom, I mean I had just finished school I had no money of my own) I was so happy, I felt like yeah I am now a big girl about to take on the world (what a silly child I was).

But moving to Cape Coast for my service and renting there too, and coming back to Accra and then renting twice (all with my money mostly and accommodation is absurdly expensive in Accra) paying bills, taking care of my expenses, making financial managements and budgets, and everything in-between living, adulting responsibilities are not easy at all.

Now I am about to move again (I actually thought this my current place will be my last but my landlord is some way and I am hating the place now), and I am burdened with everything that comes with moving.

Finding A Job

Soon as you finish school and come back home, everyone will be looking forward to you working and taking care of yourself and even giving some support to the family. The moment everyone sees you, especially those nosy family members, they will go like “so what are you doing now? Where are you working at?” hoping you will mention that you are working at some reputable company and doing well.

Sometimes you just have to lie about working because the moment they realize you are home doing nothing, they just consider you useless. The worst part is when you keep taking support from your family it gets to a time, they get tired of helping you because they feel you are old enough to start taking care of yourself.

When I completed tertiary, (I studied journalism if you are wondering) unfortunately I couldn’t find a job that quick so I was home doing nothing and it was such a bad moment for me. If I knew what I know now, I would have started blogging back then and I would probably be making some few coins out of it to even be able to support and equip maself to blog even better.

But for now, I have to do it for awhile before I can make anything out of it.That is why I need yall to keep visiting my blog, read my posts and share them so that a sister can make some few cedis off this writing to do it better. Support me ooo biko. Lol.

When you are an adult, parents feel you are at a point in life where you need to be able to fend for yourself and take care of your own responsibilities so you gotta do what an adult gotta do. It's hard.

The “When Are You Getting” Trumpet Blowing

Apart from the responsibilities, the worst part of growing up is hearing this particular question “When are you getting married”? On my wedding day, how about that? Like, leave God to do His thing yall. I am sure when the time is right He will send the man. I don’t even have a man now, how am I gonna get married? Yall need to relax for me.

Sometimes when I ask my mom for something, I don't even speak much and she will agree to give it to me, but other times she gets affected with the 'African mom syndrome' and starts with the “when are you getting married, don’t you have a boyfriend, all your mates and kid cousins are getting married and having kids, stop focusing on school and job, I won't always be there to support so you need a man to support you” talks.

And I understand her that yes I am growing, and I need a man not only to support me but I have to settle. But sometimes those talks makes me angry when it becomes a continuous topic of our conversation. Like, let it slide for a minute, please. But I guess it comes with the adulting so I just have to deal with it.

My grandmother will call and talk plenty and then start recommending men for me, lmao. She will go like “ohh this friend of mine has a son, he is very respectful, has a job, he is responsible, and this and that,….”  and am like have you dated him before? How do you know he will be a good husband material? Those family members who recommend men/women for us most times don’t even know them that well, but just because they see his outward appearance and attitude and know one or two things about his family, they just conclude that he will a good man (another topic for discussion some other time).

I am not letting the marriage pressure bother me though but yes marriage is good and I would like for it to happen (a girl gotta settle and have her own family). So I guess will just deal with the pressure, for now, whiles I pray and wait on God to send me a better life partner. So dear mom, have some patience for me.

Isn’t it funny that when we were kids, we were in such a hurry to grow up and do grown up things but only to grow up and realize that the grown up things are not as easy as we thought.

So how are ya’ll dealing with adulting, what are some of the pressures you are facing, can you relate with some of mine? And how are you dealing with the pressures of marriage if you are under one? Share your experiences with me, I would love to know.